Eurovision Gala

THE long lonely months spent in fidgety expectation are finally over. Draw back the curtains, disconnect the phone and unlock your parents. This is ravishing entertainment for all the family, pets too.

It bothers me how the bustling brains of the record business had previously failed to spot what must be a prime example of profitable, no-risk product.

Watch Christmas stockings get stuffed to bursting point with the joys of Eurovision as the rapidly shifting units propel the item to apex of the album charts, remaining thusly entrenched for many, many moons.

Before lunging at the vinyl, hold yourself back (I know it's hard) and cast a beady eyeball over the liner snaps. Observe Sandie Shaw's prophesy of the current Siuoxsie coiffure, remove lipstick and earring from Massiel to find a ringer for Patti Smith.

To continue reading this article and to discover many more (over 140,000 words-worth!), purchase Mick Sinclair’s Adjusting the Stars: Music journalism from post-punk London.