Likewise the sounds produced should surely veer to the synthetic and mechanical end of the contemporary spectrum. Right?

Wrong!

Time warp backwards two years and to Ormskirk College For Dossers. Former school chums Norman Rodgers and Ali Palmer are engaged on a three year study into alcohol: its consumption and effects.

Recouperation following a frenzied bout of front-room band activities. Most noteworthy of these being The Aargh! which included Pete, soon to be ensconced into Another Pretty Face and offering his former partners a one-off support slot.

Norman and Ali, formerly strictly bass and drums respectively, quickly acquaint themselves with the rudiments of the six stringed beast as Norman also discovers a latent vocalising ability.

The pair solicit the bass services of Nail Baldwin, then a headbanger but so overwhelmed on hearing a tape of Norman’s songs his Levis and Sabbaf patches are hung up forever.

The gig fills the triumvirate with an excess of excitement and they confidently place a foot on the road to fame and glory which led them to . . . Edinburgh.

Norman: "We didn't want to go to London and get swallowed up. Our friends were all there as were Another Pretty Face and of course at that time, the Rezillos were the big thing."

Pausing only for the twin necessities of songwriting and signing on, Norman compiled the-now legendary Rezillos cassette bootlegs. Namely 'Angel's Delight' and 'Never Mind The Kazoos' both far superior to the timid 'Mission Accomplished. . .' official Sire live effort.

A drummer, Colin Meach, was lured to the pack. Piggy banks were fattened with every available piece of spare change and eventually prised open to finance the unleashing of 'Playing With Fire' backed with 'Shattered By It All' on the Powbeat label in May of last year.

Norman: "We thought we'd be number one by the next week but we were diabolical, couldn’t play at all."

Certainly they had yet to master the art of the frets but already Ali was plucking out the melodies that carried Norman's classy lyrics though Norm had yet to realise his full voice potential.

Ali: "We were always sloppy but we got by live because it was funny, we'd laugh at our mistakes but eventually we just got too embarrassed."

'Playing With Fire' sold clean out of its thousand pressing but a bank loan had to be secured to put sufficient ackers behind the 'Ambition' three tracker which surfaced the following October.

Now this particular packet of three carried more promise than a truckload of Turkish Delight despite the title number demanding a listening level of neighbour scaring proportions.

All trebly raucous guitars and a booming speedo bass. Shame about the semi-buried crooning though. 'Ticking Away' branches off from the full frontal lunging into a calmer, more restrained area, pinned around Ali's tick-tock guitar with the vocal pitchings inducing the state of melancholia suggested by the lyrics.

Ali: "Any record returns were spent on gigging excursions to London to get companies interested. We were still very sloppy live but a lot of this was due to Colin. We decided he was holding us back especially when Deram came to see us just before Christmas and we were diabolical."

The Rezillos had since faded from existence with skinsman Ali nee 'Angel' Patterson now treading the boards with the cruelly never-rated Shake. (This man is hereinafter referred to by his Rezillos moniker to avoid confusion - typical Scots meanness on the handing out names front). Cue Far-Sighted Tactical Manoeuvre Of Cromwellian Proportions Number One.

Ali: "We'd been thinking of stealing Angel for two years although he doesn't know this."

He does now though. Snigger, snigger.

Angel: "I'd been helping them out while still playing in Shake. They had a lot of good ideas, they offered me a full-time job so I took it, that's when they started getting good." He says modestly.

Ali: "Angel has a very distinctive style so when he joined in January everything got much tighter and we worked on new arrangements which lent themselves to an additional instrument."

Cue Far-Sighted Tactical Manoeuvre Of Cromwellian Proportions Number Two.

A month after Angel’s enlistment Dave Hampton, a friend from the Ormskirk days, and trumpeter veteran of a decade spent straining cheeks and developing highly trained lip muscles, finds himself blowing his way around the youth clubs of the nation in a support spot on the Moondogs tour.

Said outing resulted from a one-off single agreement with the then newly formed Demon Records. A November Peel session had wetted the lips of several majors but none wanted to make a move first.

Gary Crowley, the mouth known to millions, had been prone to flashing around a copy of 'Playing With Fire' on the gruesome 'Fun Factory' and also worked for Multi-Media, a publishing company with very strong Demonic connections.

Thusly emerged 'On The Run' turning over a brisk four thousand copies before being drowned in the wake of Demon's Department S chart biggie. Frantic activity had been kindled in the majors however.

Norman: "Deram panicked immediately and started phoning every day. We could have gone to EMI or Virgin but they're just too big. Deram being a small part of a big company (Phonogram) means we only have to deal with five people."

The actual deal takes the form of a five year plan with three singles and an album per annum.

Ali: "There's an advance of twenty-five thousand for the first year ten thousand of which has already gone on essentials like a van and new underwear."

So this latter point I can truly testify having accompanied them to a handful of dates on the current Undertones marathon (or should it be Mars Bar) nationwide excursion.

Nights spent knee deep in smelly socks and decaying relics of former body garments is no lifestyle for aspirant well groomed pop stars, as isn't wading through an ocean of sweetie wrappers twixt dressing room and stage, discarded by the bill topping Cadbury reps from Derry.

The producers stool for the three pre Deram seven inchers was occupied by another former Shaker, Troy Tate, nowadays merrily twanging with the Teardrop Explodes.

The pending release, new forty-five is 'Snakes And Ladders', sessions for which were overseen by lan Broudie with able assistance from Alan Winstanley.

By all accounts the pair did an excellent job, turning a very good song into a classic slab of vinyl and utilising Dave's sassy brass work to the hilt.

Indeed, Broudie would be first choice for lp duties (work commencing when busy gigging schedules are completed) but his commitment to the Original Mirrors makes this possibility unlikely.

Talk of producers causes Ali's eyes to glaze over in a rapturous fantasy.

Ali: "I'd have Paul Weller with Andy Partridge mixing and Tina Weymouth."

Tina Weymouth?

"Just to sit around."

Foam appears at his lips and strong men are called upon to chain him down, thereby preventing any likelihood of self-inflicted blindness cramping his guitar style.

In reality its odds on for the re-employ of Alan Winstanley who may be persuaded to bring along his old pal Clive Langer for a spell at the knobs.

Which brings us slap bang up to date and to my opening remarks.

Neil: "There's no Scottish Scene at all, just a creation by narrow minded journalists from London. There are some good bands but they're going to suffer from over exposure. We're lucky not to be part of it really."

Ali: "Bands like the Fire Engines and Josef K aren't going to do anything. They've been built up so much there's bound to be a backlash. It’s important to have time to develop. The Scars were ignored but kept slogging away. They've made a great lp."

Norman: "Some really great groups are or were completely ignored like Boots For Dancing and Shake."

Angel: "We're not even hip locally. We're too commercially orientated. Josef K and Orange Juice are making a distinct effort to be hip and anti-commercial, if they're songs are commercial they won't admit it to themselves.

"We did the Gerry Anderson evening at the Venue. They asked us solely because of the name. It was a total unmitigated disaster.

"Showing films on the fire curtain that no-one could see! One person dressed as Captain Scarlet, another as Captain Blue and that was it! Even Gerry Anderson left after one number of us."

Ali: "Norman didn't even get to meet him!"

Norman: "Few people buying records now know what the name means anyway. They're too young to remember the comic."

Alas, I remember it well, along with Zoom ice lollies and jamboree bags and . . . (Cont. 'Dreams Of Childhood' Vol 1.)