| WE
ARRIVE in dingy damp Blackburn and meet
The Damned just as they're being issued
with writs for an unplayed gig earlier in
the tour (for which they weren't to
blame). The writ-server leaves after
being given a poisoned drink. A message
arrives from the local nick that a young
girl who's attached herself to the tour
is, in fact, a runaway. The guitars have
been left at the previous night's bash in
Birmingham. It gets worse. Rat Scabies
begins his anti-journalist tirade: "There's no
such thing as an honest journalist.
You've been ordered here to do a
hatchet job. Some other paper sent a boy
to interview us. We did it in a pub. He
got legless, went out to the bog and came
back all white saying he'd just
puked." I tell him he's not being
very positive.
"But
I am being positive. I know
you've been sent here under orders
to do a hatchet job."
This
doesn't help our rapport. I hadn't met or
written about the band before and I came
with an open mind and an interest in what
they had to say. Scabies' insults only
enforce the nasty rumours about him. I
wonder why I bothered to come.
Ordered
to write? Nobody has ever ordered me
what to write. Do Nems (their management
company) order the Damned what to play?
If Rat wants a hatchet job he goes the
right way about getting one but he should
also remember that such wounds can be
self-inflicted.
It is
not difficult to detect the other group
members finding his obnoxious attitude
unnecessary and annoying. The Scabies
press paranoia spreads to the tour
manager who generally does his discreet
best to be uncooperative and ensure that
we know we're not welcome. The next day
we arrange to follow the luxury coach to
Stoke and stop en route at a suitable
photo location. It comes as no surprise
when the Damned carrier speeds away at 80
miles an hour and all the camera helping
hours of daylight are wasted.
Over an
afternoon breakfast I mention some new
bands I've seen. Rat confesses ignorance:
"I never listen to new bands. I've
become everything I set out to destroy.
I'm a boring old fart."
Anyway,
enough of all that. Backtrack to
Blackburn and the previous evening.
A
disappointing attendance but this fact
more due to the biting recession than
unpopularity of the attraction. My last
visual of the Damned had been some 18
months previously when they appeared in
the very hall where I was employed as a
porter.
At that
time they were little short of being a
punky pantomime, a laughable caricature
of their former selves They only managed
five or six songs in an hour, each had a
lengthy drum solo and ten minute Sensible
guitar break. The P.A. collapsed after a
stage invasion and I spent the next week
clearing up the blood and debris.
Nowadays
they're a whole lot better. A full quota
of tunes drawn from their entire career
and only one drum solo. Plus there is a
light show from the guy who normally
beams and projects for Nik Turner and who
was last hired by Mood Six.
The
audience is extremely youthful, barely
anyone looks over 16. Consequently there
are no cheers for the many-moons-old
first album material. The biggest
reaction is for the opening chords of
'Smash It Up'.
My
favourite moment, though, is the high
powered polished cruise through the MC5's
'Looking At You'. As ever the performance
concludes with Scabies at guitar,
Sensible at drums and a fully anarchic
rendition of 'Pretty Vacant'.
The new
E.P. bodes well, generally acclaimed by
the cognoscenti to be the best Damned
waxing for some time. My photographer
colleague hears a rough tape of potential
tracks for the next album (don't mention
the Chiswick 'Best Of . . .' compilation,
it's somewhat unpopular). He describes
the embryonic sounds as
"psychedelic" but coming from
him that can mean anything.
What is
certain, is that aside from the usual
Sensible/Scabies composing partnership,
Paul Gray has about 20 songs penned and
standing by and even Vanian has scribbled
a few.
For
current live purposes the four are joined
by the keyboarding Tosh, formerly a
member of Cardiff's premier psychedelic
(that wicked word again) combo the
Missing Men. The Damned's squeaky organ
club membership qualification is a
liking for sixties Nuggets and Pebbles
sounds comprises Sensible, Vanian
and Gray.
Scabies
is non-plussed by the whole idea. Liking
from the sixties only Dave Davies b-sides
and really early Nazz he says: "I
told the world last year that everyone
would soon be wearing Paisleys and
grooving to sixties sounds. I was
right."
Backstage,
aprés set, a queue of signature and
souvenir hungry fans line the corridor
outside the dressing room. The Captain
signs elaborate autographs ('Lady Di
kills stags for fun' is one example).
While writing he begins to tell me about
the single he's recorded with Crass.
Anarchy and autographs. I'm struck by the
contradiction. The bereted guitar player
is full of them.Like at breakfast when he
asks Paul if he believes in murder
because he's tucking into a chicken.
Ten
minutes later Captain sits chewing a
freshly-slaughtered bird. He confides
he'd like to be a vegetarian if only he
could find somebody to cook the food for
him.
IN THE
crowded hotel bar I tell him I've
dispensed with the idea of doing an
organised interview. Due to the rodent
problems I'll just write up my
impressions.
"Fine"
he trustingly replies "just do what
you want. Rat just really hates
journalists. I'll do a short interview on
my own, if you like." We sneak into
the lift and find a vacant room.
Tell me
more about the Crass record:
"I
saw all these geezers with Crass on their
backs and ail these anarchy signs. So I
made a point of getting hold of one of
their records and listening to it. I
thought the words were bloody good,
excellent stuff, but I hated the music, I
thought it was turgid anachronistic old
dog shit. So I thought if I wrote the
music and they wrote the words together
we could make a decent record.
"I
find it really hard to write lyrics, it's
not that I don't have the ideas but I
just can't string words together that
well. I'm not a poet but I love writing
melodies it's great fun and I thought
writing some music with their lyrics
would be the ultimate.
"That
drummer geezer Penny Rimbaud wrote the
words and I sang it with Dolly Mixture
doing back up vocals. That's an unlikely
combination innit, Crass, the Damned and
Dolly Mixture. It's called 'This Is Your
Captain Speaking'. (He cringes) Daft
title really innit?"
Yes!
"The
Dolly Mixtures are excellent people, they
giggle a lot. I produced their single
('Been Teen') and put a cello on it. She
sat over this cello screaming with
laughter but I couldn't see anything
funny about it. She was just rattling out
a few notes but it was great, I love
people who enjoy their work. I'd like to
produce more people but only those I like
and respect. I wouldn't do Siouxsie for
example."
Are you
pleased with the new E.P.?
"Yeah,
we're all really happy with it. It's got
something that the 'Black Album' didn't
have. The 'Black Album' was too clinical,
we were trying to be too clever. With the
new record we just had a real laugh doing
it we weren't trying to be serious."
HOW HAVE
the Damned changed over the last five
years?
"The
road crew reckon we've changed but I
don't think so. Mind you I sometimes wish
I hadn't smashed up all those guitars. I
had some really nice ones. I detest
incompetence. When people used to say I
couldn't play it used to get up my nose
because I knew I could. I try a bit
harder now although playing guitar is
bloody easy.
"Everyone's
got this idea that punk was a movement.
They seem to think a lot of groups got
together and talked about how they were
going to change this or that. But none of
the groups knew or liked each other. In
fact there was total rivalry.
"When
people said we were a punk group I didn't
know what they were talking about, I bet
the Clash didn't either. I knew I didn't
like what had gone on earlier. All the
glam-rock shit with stack heels and 20
minute guitar solos. Almost all of my
contemporaries have headed for that star
thing, headed for it with open arms. They
wanted to be stars like David Bowie, they
were all little David Bowie fans weren't
they? Walking around in outrageous
clothes."
But
hasn't the star thing happened to the
Damned. Like it or not?
"Listen,
I make no bones about the fact I'm doing
this for the money but I never want
anyone to think of me as a star. I find
the whole idea disgusting. I couldn't
stomach it if anyone thought I was better
than them. Some people do think that
though, to an extent, but you have to let
them know.
"Like
being asked for autographs. If you don't
sign they think you're a sod and if you
do sign you're laying yourself open to
the accusation that you're a jumped up
arrogant pop star.
"It's
a total shame really. In the first two
years of punk no one ever asked for an
autograph. It was really good. It was
people from the audience up on the stage.
They were the same except they were
raised up so the people at the back could
see them, and they had guitars in their
hands.
"This
is the best job I've ever had and I've
had a few. I never want to be a gardener
or work in an office for British Rail
again. When we split up it was because of
the amount of hate between certain
members of the band. I spent nine months
without a penny. I never want to go
through that again. This band will be
around for a long time to come ... even
with Rat in it."
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